Breaking Point
Daisy Doodle Bug
Do you ever wonder at what point will you break? In the past four months, I’ve experienced one hardship after another. First was guests destroying our Airbnb, then out of nowhere Andy has a massive stroke. This puts everything into perspective. Shortly thereafter I discover what an amazing community I am a member of, they were gifts from God. That said, the stress and worry of how we were going to pay Andy’s medical expenses, our bills, our mortgage etc… weighted heavily. My friends started a go-fund-me page and people, friends, family, acquaintances and complete strangers stepped to the plate to help cover Andy’s medical expenses! I am currently guarding those funds like a hawk to make sure there remains enough to cover all his expenses both in this current fiscal cycle as well as the next which kicks in July first! All the while, still wondering if I will be able to continue to pay our bills…
Then of course there is managing our property, or the farm as we like to call it. Andy and I had multiple projects going at the time he had his stroke. I was constantly worried about how I was going to manage the farm, let alone complete all the projects Andy and I had started. Here too my community answered the call and slowly one by one all the projects Andy and I had on our plate were completed!
Then there was the actual planting of the Market Garden. If our veg patch produces any kind of produced this year, it truly will be a blessing from God. I had planned this year to start most of our produce from seeds; and this is what I did. The question and concern is will they survive the hot summer?
Then there was having the home modifications completed for Andy. We are currently living in a full-on construction site. Progress is being made, but Andy and I both feel the weight of having our home not be our home. Of course, now, I’m hearing talk that the Craig Foundation who said they would cover the cost of the materials if I covered the cost of the labor, might be pulling out of their commitment. This means now Andy and I may have to cover the remaining cost of the materials while covering all the labor costs. This in turn means the home modifications if we must pay for both sets of expenses will eat into the funds to cover Andy’s medical costs. Not a good situation to be in and it feels like a bit of a betrayal on the Foundations part. I’ve never been particularly good in the trust department, and this just adds fuel to that fire. The verdict on this stressful situation is still out.
Next our youngest daughter Bella moves out to Palisade and into the main house. For years I told her she could not move back in due to her little hoarding issue, but when Andy went down and I was commuting back and forth from Palisade, Bella stepped to the plate and opted to move out and be an additional helper for Andy and myself.
This change of a new person moving into the main house, combined with Andy being in a wheelchair and me trying to stay on top of everything, started to impact my emotional support pup Daisy.
Through all the above I’ve soldiers through, always reminding myself that God is with me and he has a plan etc… For the most part this mantra has helped to keep me grounded. That said, I think I might have reached my breaking point. Within the last few days, my beloved Daisy Doodle Bug has been a little under the weather. I took her to the Vet to see what was going on. We just lost Molly in December, and the idea of me loosing Daisy seems unfathomable. The Vet gave her some medicine and I thought she was on the mend.. then I noticed some bumps on her belly, turns out they were two enlarged nipples. I noticed them but wasn’t sure if I was being a bit paranoid or if there was something wrong. I took Daisy to the groomer, and she noticed them too. Something had to be done… I called our vet and scheduled an appointment for Friday. It will be after this blog posts. If I lose Daisy, I think I will have reached my breaking point. Through all this chaos, the turning of my world upside down, Daisy has been at my side, she is my emotional support dog, the best Christmas present I ever had and 100% my dog. I hope this latest bit of not goodness turns out to be nothing. I keep telling myself if it is Daisy’s time then God has a reason and I should savor the time I have with her… this helps a bit, but the thought of losing her now, at only 5 years of age, with everything else that is going on, I honestly don’t know how I will be able to manage that loss… What does one do once they have reached their breaking point, I wonder?
Say a prayer for me… better yet say a prayer or two for Daisy… I really need my beloved four-legged companion by my side as I continue to navigate and take on each new challenge in these uncharted waters we call life.
